PARENTING: How I really am Dealing with ADHD…

I can tell you right now, I am not dealing with it as well as I could be, it’s still a fairly new diagnosis as well so there is still a lot of work to be done on my end. Spud is also on the 2 year waiting list to get the government diagnosis, it doesn’t matter that his pediatrician, who also has a masters and doctorate in children’s psychology and behaviour, our family Doctor as well as our social worker all have talked with his preschool and his early education teachers, TAs, psychologist, Speech therapist and Occupational Therapist. They all came to the same conclusion, but I do not qualify for any help financially, or is our doctor allowed to prescribe anything, sports or medication, anything we need that piece of paper.

I don’t want to medicate my child, but I want something that will help him as well as us. He lashes out if his routine is messed, and during the summer is more unstable, he makes you feel like you are out to get him sometimes. There has been more than on occasion that the police have shown up at my door because a concerned neighbour has called them. Why? Because when I tell the small little child that I am mommy and when he is mean to me, or sissy or daddy we will have time outs and we will lose our tablet and our toys for a while… What does my small evil spawn do you may ask?

Well he opens his window and yells for help and then he hits himself several times with his own had tr starts to head butt the walls. We have no real help as of yet because we we are missing the ‘government’ diagnosis. So we are trying to fid our own resources, scouring the net and all that wonderful help. and they all say you will have to pay out of pocket larger chunks of money than we can manage at this point in time.

I have been talking to as many government sources and place as I can but because we don’t fall under low income, just lower middle class, we don’t qualify for anything because we are lacking that paper. How are people suppose to live and survive like this, its not fair to my son, its not fair to my daughter who loses out on a lot because we need to punish him in time outs, where he yells and she can’t watch TV, if we can’t go to the park, she can’t go to the park, when he is on time outs in his room, well that is her room too, so she loses there as well. So right now, I am not handling ADHD well at all, I try and follow these guidelines but the second he goes elsewhere for a few hours, less the sitter we are on the same page, he is back to normal and all those weeks of hard work are lost and we have to try again, which means I don’t get a break, because when I get one, I spend it all panicking about what kind of kid I will be getting back. I am upset when he goes to the sitters because I know she can handle it because she is a rockstar and a saint, but he is bad for her and she loses on taking the kids away anywhere. Not just mine, but her little as well, I can’t do sports because I work to late, and the ones that are later or on weekends are full or cost more than we can afford, but we don’t qualify for any help. And sports would be the best thing for him, burn off all that energy, but its all a tables web that I still don’t know how to navigate.

How are you handling ADHD??

-Ashton <3

14 thoughts on “PARENTING: How I really am Dealing with ADHD…

  • August 19, 2019 at 8:44 pm
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    I am not very familiar with ADHD. I’m sorry you are struggling – this sounds like so much to deal with. But you sound like a wonderful advocate for your child. Don’t beat yourself up, you are doing what you can.

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    • August 20, 2019 at 9:11 am
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      Thank you so much. It will get better that is all I can do and keep telling myself, that the struggle is harder at the start.

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  • August 19, 2019 at 9:06 pm
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    My son has received a diagnosis from his doctor. We decided medication wasn’t the right option for us. I still expect assistance from his school.

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    • August 20, 2019 at 9:12 am
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      I wont know what the school will do for him until he starts in september as he was in early Ed for 2 years, this is his first go around at a real school.

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  • August 19, 2019 at 9:13 pm
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    I am so sorry this must be so hard. While I don’t have personal experience with ADHD I can only imagine. Thinking of you mama you go this!

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  • August 19, 2019 at 9:18 pm
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    You and I sound very similar! We are also in that same bracket. Just trying to stay afloat. Adding extra medical bills is so frustrating and just adds to the mental health struggles! Sending you love Momma!

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    • August 20, 2019 at 9:14 am
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      If my hubby worked longer than 6 to 8 months a year I think we would be better. We are lucky with our child care that takes a lot off our plate. But still its hard to remain focused on the greater good when you have to worry about how you are going to get there.

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  • August 19, 2019 at 10:46 pm
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    Ah I am sorry you are dealing with this 🙁 I don’t have much practical experience with this but those around me who have, have all found a strong support system because you can’t do it all on your own mama!

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    • August 20, 2019 at 9:15 am
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      I have a great support system but there comes a time that I need to find people in my situation or were in my shoes so that I can learn AND lean. We have great families that help, but its hard when everyone keeps telling you how hard and challenging your child is

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  • August 20, 2019 at 10:09 pm
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    Oh, Mama, my heart goes out to you. One of my daughters (both of my girls are older than yours) was diagnosed this past spring, and it. is. HARD. The *knowing* the cause for all the symptoms you describe (minus the screaming out the window and police showing up – if we still lived in our city row house, I am sure the neighbors would have called the cops on us a few times for the noise), yup. I used to wonder what was WRONG with our family that every Sunday morning we were late for church, because trying to get her dressed and fed and out of the house was like a battle of World War III. School mornings are like that half the time, too. She has medication now, which has helped (though she is wasting away to nothing because she won’t eat – it dulls her appetite), BUT it costs an arm and a leg. And even though we DO have that piece of paper, from the pediatrician, and even though we DO have a boatload of laws in this country that you’d think would qualify her for services at school, the fine print of them (and our own school’s website) seems to suggest that actually she would NOT qualify, because she’s not yet failing. (Even though she can never remember her homework or stay focused in class or get things done when she’s supposed to.) So we have pulled her out and she starts at a private school in a few days – which we cannot really afford either, so we’ve scraped together the tuition for this year, but not sure what we’re gonna do after that.
    That is how WE are coping at the moment. Hang in there, and ***hugs*** to you.

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  • August 20, 2019 at 10:14 pm
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    Ashton, I just want to give you a big hug. I can only imagine how hard it is on you and also the rest of your family. Sports does seem like a good idea, but I also know you are working on navigating that also. It will take time. It will take a lot of patience, as you know. I am sending good and positive vibes and prayers your way. Not sure if your daughter is old enough to understand, but maybe talk to her too, so she knows it’s not her fault that sometimes park days dont happen, etc. Just a thought?

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  • August 20, 2019 at 11:24 pm
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    hoping you find a solution that works for you.. while i don’t have personal experience with it, I do have friends and family who have to deal with the struggles of ADHD so I have seen how hard it is..

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  • August 21, 2019 at 9:04 am
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    Thanks so much for sharing your journey honestly. It sounds tough and know you are a great mom!!

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